Post Game Confessional

[Stephanie]

I won!

[Stephanie]

It has been about 30 hours since I won this game! Wow, I still cannot believe that I won.



I want to start off by saying that this was HARD. I had no idea what to expect going into the game, in the game, or wrapping it up. From the perspective of someone who knew nothing about ORGs, each aspect of this game has been its own set of obstacles.



I am going to go through a few parts of the game, from my perspective, to clarify some things I am being questioned about or have realized since reading everything in the viewers lounge, and watching John’s reviews and all the Conquest Q&As. I figured these were pretty safe places to start in my reflection of the game and I have been right.



Here we go!



Original Kalmar

- I am just learning I was a potential first boot. I did not know this at the time and did not learn it throughout the game either.



Swap Kalmar

- THE WORST part of my game by far.

- I trusted Charity WAY too much. This became a trend going forward. I love the girl, but it hurts to know that she was closer with Brian and was the one fighting for Brian to stay over me.

- Although I do believe I had a good idea I was going home if we lost that math/puzzle Night round, I did not in any way know the driver there was Charity.

- Shon, you were right! (Also, should have played my idol on you).



Merge

- Noah, I love you, but do not have much to say with your eviction. I will say something though to Doug and Charity (applies to Andrew and Taylor too, but they did not directly say this), you telling me that the only reason I was left out of the Noah vote was because I was too close with Noah, right after you pulled the same thing with Shon, proved to me that I had to lie to you about who I was talking to and who I felt close with.

- Now, I want to give PROPER credit where credit is due here. KAYLEE was the one who made me feel close to her and the one who brought me on call with Emily and Mark. Kaylee was the one who initiated the move, and worked HARD to make me feel comfortable. Emily appears to be getting the credit here, but from my perspective it was Kaylee. I was initially sketched out by Emily (which she knows) because of lie about the feud with Kaylee. Also, I got the gut feeling that Kaylee quickly believed I was telling the truth about my Griffin vote, but that Emily did not trust me.

- Charity, realistically was my adversary since swap, but I also perceived her as my best friend in this game. I did not tell her much, and knew the moves I made against her allies hurt her chances in the game, but I wanted her in the game as long as possible. Her name was brought up the Doug, Taylor, and Brian eviction rounds, but I felt closer to her than those three and so I tried to keep her.



Final 7

- This is the point in my game where my confessionals even make no sense because my mind was not made up. I also did not lay things out super well. 
- I had a lot of people approach me with final 2/3 deals for the FIRST time all game. Emily was one of these people. Emily kept saying things along the lines of “If we make the end I would love to be final 2 with you”. My response was “I think the four of us should battle it out once we make it there and whoever is in a power position can make their best move”. Unfortunately though, Emily pitching this made me question the 4 of us and made me see that if she was saying she was willing to cut Kaylee/ Mark she could also cut me.

- Charity was also telling me final 3 with Griffin for original Kalmar. The problem was I knew both Charity and Emily were perceiving each other as the masterminds, and I feared that both of them would interpret the other as “forcing” me to make a move.

- John said it a few times in assessments leading into this vote, but from a friendship level I wanted to go to the end with Kaylee, Mark and Emily. I also was in the mindset that if it were a final 2 and I was there with Kaylee or Mark I could possibly get the Sturlu/ Kalmar votes and win. I knew I would have to beat Emily though in a challenge (and I sucked at challenges).

- One factor was that because I felt a close friendship with Charity, and I felt I had betrayed her 3 rounds in a row, I knew I had to either vote her out or vote with her here otherwise she could come for me.

- With all of these factors, Charity pushed HARD. It was not the stuff she said that contributed necessarily, but the sheer volume and passion she had, even though she had immunity.

- The final straw was when Emily got paranoid about where Charity would play her idol and flipped the vote to Griffin. I had been saying I wanted Andrew out for 2 rounds now, and as soon as he stopped being the group’s target I knew I was not in as strong of a position as I had thought.



Final 6

- Sorry Charity, but as soon as Andrew had immunity I wanted you gone here.



Final 4

- My goal was to get Andrew out. But, I knew he had a good chance of winning immunity so I needed to give myself the best shot at making Final 3. I sucked up to Andrew as much as I could here.

- I felt like Griffin was solid with me here, due to our “Final 2”.

- Kaylee was the wild card. She was pissed at me for voting out Emily and Mark, and it took a lot of work for me to get in her good graces. I knew I needed to though because otherwise she was 100% coming for me. I was able to make her feel comfortable enough that when my worst-case immunity did happen I was safe.


Those seem to be all the moves/ parts of my game where people (or at least John) seemed confused.



Now I doubt anyone is still reading, especially any future newbie players, but I want to address how hard I have found leaving this game. It may just be the game I played (backstabbing allies), but it is a very difficult transition. Managing both the post-game relationships and navigating this new world has been VERY OVERWHELMING. To any future player reading this, please reach out if you need any support, I know I asked for some today.