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Post by John on Feb 7, 2019 21:12:42 GMT
This will be your own personal confessional for the remainder of the game. It will be completely private, so feel free to be as candid as you like. You have complete control over what to do with your confessional. You can create as many new threads here as you would like, this thread is yours to do with as you please.
When posting your confessionals it's up to you the format you would like to post them. You can create a new thread for each round of the game and post your thoughts in each one, or you can have one thread devoted to collecting your thoughts throughout the whole game. You have the freedom to do whatever you prefer.
Along with confessionals, this thread will be used for some challenges, as well as voting. Voting will take place in the thread that I have created called "Voting History". Each time you visit Tribal Council you will cast your vote in that thread, thus ensuring that it remains private.
I hope you take advantage of this space and document your time within the game. We love watching and reading confessionals so I look forward to whatever you post in here.
Good luck!
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Post by Stephanie on Feb 11, 2019 19:50:43 GMT
Here is my first confessional!
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Post by Stephanie on Feb 12, 2019 1:10:19 GMT
Post Tribal #1 Confessional
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Post by Stephanie on Feb 14, 2019 7:23:39 GMT
I have a few things to quickly update on.
1. This challenge is crazy. It is consuming my life. First of all, I am staying up late doing crazy things I would never do. I also kept waking up last night with dreams of this insane scavenger hunt. Then, I was at school, teaching Grade 5, and the kids would do or say things that reminded me of this challenge (ex. Fortnite Hype dance, kid with blue hair). It is crazy to me how quickly I am just accepting that this is part of my life and something I have to do.
2. Tribe dynamics. With the challenge coming to an end soon, I am getting a bit nervous about our tribe dynamics. Obviously, I want us to win this challenge, and I am doing everything in my power to do that, but I also know you cannot rely on wins. With two of the three tribes going to tribal this round it makes this challenge even more important. But, in the event we lose, I feel like something weird is going to happen. Nobody has directly said anything to me yet, but I am getting vibes. What I do know is that last round, we left Griffin out of the vote. Now, he has not mentioned a thing to me about the vote, and from what people have told me, the same is true for other tribe members. Griffin has however been in touch with me WAY more. I would say I have even talked with him the most this round, but always surface level stuff. With that said, I know he is doing the same with Shon and Charity, and I can presume Brian as well. On tribe calls, Griffin, Charity and I have been the ones consistently there and engaged in conversations. Then today, Shon asked me if I had noticed Charity and Griffin getting close. I let him know I had not, but would watch for it. I am getting the vibes that Shon, despite being in a "alliance" with Charity, does not trust her and wants to find a reason to get rid of her. Shon told me he played an ORG with Charity's sister, which makes him nervous to align with Charity due to the history there. Charity has not mentioned this at all to me, and I get the feeling she is currently trusting Shon. Now personally, I feel I am in an okay spot because I am in the conversations with Charity and Griffin, but Shon is also bringing his concerns to me. It puts me in a tough position though, because currently I am getting better energy from Charity than Shon, but more information from Shon. Now, I know I have barely mentioned Brian, and that is because our schedules have been completely opposite and I have not really heard from him at all, so I have no idea where his head is at.
Okay, it is late, but I thought I should share my thoughts before this challenge is over.
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Post by Stephanie on Feb 15, 2019 5:18:58 GMT
After Kalmar won the Scavenger Hunt Challenge
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Post by Stephanie on Feb 17, 2019 20:00:44 GMT
Round 3 - 2 hours before tribal.
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Post by Stephanie on Feb 18, 2019 6:26:35 GMT
Tonight was the tribe swap and I am so happy with how it went. Luck was totally on my side. We swapped to tribes of 7 and four people from original Kalmar ended up back on Kalmar. With that, it was the four of us who have been aligned and voted together all along (or at least I am assuming we did in the night round).
The thing that worries me a bit now though is people's pre-existing relationships. We had a tribe call tonight with new Kalmar, but Taylor did not join. I did however meet Noah and Doug, and Noah made it very clear he knew Charity, Brian and Shon from before. Charity seems to consistently downplay any relationships she has, so I do not know if it is because she feels good with me still or she is hiding things from me. Brian, appeared to really like Noah from my interpretation, and it sounds like Shon and Noah do not typically work well together in games. I also learned that Doug has not played an ORG before, but has played Survivor Maryland (which I watch and love).
Overall, I am excited to get to know these new people and see where the game goes from here, but also so glad that the swap worked out in my favour from a numbers perspective.
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Post by Stephanie on Feb 18, 2019 6:59:17 GMT
Look what I found!!!
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Post by Stephanie on Feb 19, 2019 3:25:56 GMT
I told Charity that I have the idol clue. I really debated whether I should or not, but I did not know how to navigate around making sure I could find an idol in our movie trailer in order to actually get the real idol. I did not trust myself to be assertive enough in a group with a few loud voices to get my point across artfully.
She is the only person I am telling and she has sworn she will not tell anyone. For now I trust her, but I think it could paint a target on me after a merge (if I make it that far).
I also hope if it does come out it does not become a problem of me not telling Shon and Brian.
I did what I believe is best for me for the short term but am definitely nervous about the longer term ramifications.
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Post by Stephanie on Feb 21, 2019 7:16:58 GMT
I feel like I am playing really badly since the swap and am relying too much on others and not trusting myself.
I bring this up, because I told Shon about the idol. I did not tell him about Charity knowing about the clue, but I also wanted to reassure him that it is not super likely that anything weird would happen from someone else playing an idol.
He reacted well and seemed appreciative, but I regretted it the minute I did it.
I was thinking/ my gut instinct, is to use the tool (idol) to reinforce bonds and to assure people I am with them. I can also see though that it puts all the power in their hands.
Also with Shon and Charity knowing about it now, they could easily tell people they are close with (from previous games/ the ORG community), that I do not yet have relationships built with.
I don't really know what I am saying at this point and I am feeling really drained. Losing this last challenge was REALLY disappointing.
At this point, probably 20 hours from tribal, I would guess that Doug will be the vote, but I have no idea.
I am not trusting my game play right now, so who knows I could go. I do actually know that Noah said my name as a possibility so it is possible if my original tribe mates chose ORG friends over original tribe alliances. I do not think this will happen this round, so I likely won't be thinking I need to play my idol, but if I get weird vibes maybe I should to just get it out of play since too many people know and I do not like having it. I prefer relying on social skills and dynamics. I really think it is messing with my head and gameplay.
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Post by Stephanie on Feb 22, 2019 2:40:06 GMT
Today is crazy. Here is me in tears after reading a list of everything wrong with me and hearing why Brian cannot stand who I am as a person.
PS. Almost 100% playing my idol since pretty much everyone knows about it anyway and I know votes are coming my way.
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Post by Stephanie on Feb 22, 2019 4:50:17 GMT
I just cried my way through tribal council. I hated it. I normally, in real life, never cry. I am the go to person in my family to talk at funerals because I do not cry, so this was all new to me. I honestly feel like it was knowing I had hurt someone else. That is the part I feel awful about because that aspect goes beyond a game.
If it had been about the idol that someone had targeted me, or a numbers thing/ pre-existing relationships (which I know all played into the decisions), I genuinely believe I would not have been emotional.
It may also be because these last two days have not been good. I have had barely any sleep, have been stressed in life, and just had a rough go in general. Yesterday was my birthday so all of this just makes for a hard way to start my last year of my 20s.
Going forward, I hope I can adapt and learn to play better.
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Post by Stephanie on Feb 24, 2019 4:37:44 GMT
10 hours before Tribal
I am feeling better overall, but am feeling really badly about my position in the game.
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Post by Stephanie on Feb 27, 2019 1:55:05 GMT
Latest confessional... not a lot has changed.
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Post by Stephanie on Feb 27, 2019 6:03:17 GMT
IT'S THE MERGE!!!!!
I am so happy I made the merge. This really gives me a chance again and I am so thankful. Right before merge happened I was talking to Doug and it sounds like he wants to play alongside me and work with me which is really nice. I also hope that I can work a little bit with Griffin again since we had at least a bit of a connection on original Kalmar. As for everyone else, Emily has been messaging me. We quickly met in the challenge yesterday and then she messaged me after merge and seems nice. Kaylee, Mark and Andrew were on the tribe call. Kaylee seems bubbly, and I did not really get a read on either Mark or Andrew.
Anyways, I am excited to be here and to play!!!
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